The Original Spam
Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, here it is the original emial that started the whole thing off! I wish I could remember when this was. The only reference in the text suggests it was 1978 but as email wasn't invented then... What I do know is I got into trouble at college for blocking up the servers...
* Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you
can't drink and drive?
* Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of
parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
there?
* Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
* If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on
the doors?
* If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the
pan?
* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen?
* If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you
turn on the headlights?
* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the
package says, "Open somewhere else"?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a
shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
* Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
* Did you know who in 1923 was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
* These men should have been considered some of the world's most
successful men. At least they found the secret of making money.
Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these men?
1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a
pauper.
2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane.
3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from
prison
to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.
* The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship,
Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments.
Today he is still playing golf and is solvent.
CONCLUSION: STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START
PLAYING GOLF
* This letter originated in The Netherlands, has been passed around the
world at least 20 times, bringing good luck to everyone who passed it on.
* Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you
can't drink and drive?
* Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of
parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
there?
* Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
* If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on
the doors?
* If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the
pan?
* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen?
* If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you
turn on the headlights?
* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the
package says, "Open somewhere else"?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a
shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
* Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
* Did you know who in 1923 was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
* These men should have been considered some of the world's most
successful men. At least they found the secret of making money.
Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these men?
1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a
pauper.
2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane.
3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from
prison
to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.
* The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship,
Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments.
Today he is still playing golf and is solvent.
CONCLUSION: STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START
PLAYING GOLF
* This letter originated in The Netherlands, has been passed around the
world at least 20 times, bringing good luck to everyone who passed it on.
posted by thefatman at 21:20
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